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***
The opening scene is on a club. A man clad in black pulls up to the curb on a motorcycle. He parks, and gets up, taking
a kitana blade with him.
The bouncer stops him at the door.
Bouncer: Hey, you can't just...
The man tosses him a wad of bills.
Bouncer: Wow, maybe you can. Hey, you need anything? Here for anything special?
Man: Business.
The man enters the club. He makes his way past the bar, past the restaurant area, and past the dance section. He doesn't
stop until he reaches a door marked "VIP".
***
Inside, surrounded by six bodyguards, is Gene Snitsky, and a woman FAR out of his league. There's a knock on the door.
Snitsky: Answer the damn door, and tell him to go away.
One bodyguard answers the door.
BG: Get steppin'...
And he was silenced with three bullets to the chest. He falls back to the wall, never to stand again.
The rest of the BG's draw their guns. A smoke grenade clatters across the floor.
BG: Oh, sh
The grenade explodes, and smoke envelopes the room. The man enters the room, ignoring the smoke, and shoots four more
guards to death.
One guard manages to sneak up behind him, but, without a word, the man sends him flying with a stiff side kick.
The kick only knocked him out. It was the flight through the wall that killed him.
When the smoke cleared, all that was left standing were The Man, Snitsky, and the poor girl.
Snitsky: You...
Man: Me.
Snitsky: Look, man. It wasn't my fault! You just kept opening your mouth.
Man: None of that matters now. Goodbye, Snitsky.
With that, the man draws his sword, spins, swinging his sword, and...
stops, mere molecules away from Snitsky's throat.
Man: You can open your eyes now, Gene.
Snitsky opens his eyes. The Man sheaths his sword. Snitsky begins to laugh with relief. The Man even joins in the laughter.
Then he stops, and empties his gun into Snitsky's chest.
Man: (To the woman) Sorry about all this.
And the Man just leaves. He walks out of the club, and mounts his cycle.
As he pulls away, we can read his license plate:
REAL DEAL.
***
Part 2 - Why is this s*** happening?
***
1 week earlier...
RD Reynolds pulls up to his house. Inside should have been his friend, Blade Braxton. But when he reached the door, he
noticed that not only was it open, it was completely off it's hinges.
RD rushes inside, fearing the worst. And the worst was really bad. When he reached the kitchen, his fears were confirmed.
Blade Braxton lay dead on the kitchen floor.
RD runs to his friend to try to help him, but it's no use.
Voice: So sorry. But it had to be done.
RD looks up and sees Blade's murderer.
RD: Hogan.
Hulk Hogan stood before him. Surrounding him were four men.
Triple H, El Gigante, Chyna, and Gene Snitsky
Hogan: That's right, RD. I'm tired of being called a goblin by you and your damn site. That's why I'm afraid, it's time
for you to be put down.
Hogan puts a bullet in RD's chest, and RD falls.
Hogan: Let's go.
Hogan and his lackey's leave RD to die.
***
RD wakes up in complete black. The blackness soon becomes a dimly lit hallway. RD can think of nothing else to do but
walk the hallway.
RD passes by many statues in the hall, standing out are
Ricky Steamboat, Mick Foley, John Tenta, Dynamite Kid, and Bobby Heenan.
It takes him a while, but RD finally reaches the end of the hallway. At the end is a pedestal.
On the pedestal is a glass case. And in the glass case is a kitana blade.
When RD steps onto the pedestal, the glass case shatters, leaving the sword exposed. RD walks up to the sword, hesitates,
and grabs it.
RD then falls to his knees, yelling in pain. He goes black once more...
***
RD wakes up where he last fell. Blade was still next to him. RD reaches over to his side, and double takes in surprise.
Sitting beside him was the sword that RD had found in his dream.
RD takes up the sword.
RD: It's perfect, but...how? Why?
AJ Styles: Because you are the one.
RD: Who...AJ Styles?
Styles: You have been chosen to destroy Hogan, and all those who plague talented wrestlers.
RD: Why me?
Styles: It was your destiny to destroy Hogan before you were born. Before Hogan even became a star it was your destiny
to kill him.
Do you accept?
RD looks at his sword, then at his fallen friend.
RD: I do.
Styles: Good.
Styles walks over and picks up Blade.
Styles: Do not worry for your friend. He will be delivered to Wrestling Heaven.
I wish you luck, my friend. You are, unfortunately, going to need it.
And with that, AJ Styles and Blade disappeared, leaving a still dumbfounded RD.
RD walks to his phone and dials a number.
RD: Hey, Madison? It's Deal. Do me a favor. Get the word out to all the guys.
I'm going to need a lot of help.
Part 3. A-bomb, Richards, and DSR show up.
***
Opening shot. A phone sits on a bedside table, and rings. For a few seconds, it goes unanswered.
A hand soon slaps across it, and answers the phone.
A-bomb: A-bomb and Richards Detective House.
(Annoyed sigh)
You got a problem,
yo, we'll solve it
using my brain
and Stevie's revolver.
RD: (over phone) Nice slogan.
A-bomb: Well, I'll be damned. Haven't heard from you in a while.
RD: Look, Bomb I'll get right to it.
Blade's dead.
A-bomb: Yeah, Madison told us. I'm sorry.
RD: I need you to get some information for me.
I'll pay.
A-bomb: No need. It's free today.
RD: Can you find where Hogan is?
A-bomb: That won't be easy.
But you know I can do it.
***
A-bomb is getting dressed.
A-bomb: Stevie, wake your ass up!
Stevie: I already am.
A-bomb: Then get dressed. And I don't mean you jeans either. We got work today.
Stevie: Are you serious?
A-bomb: No, I like getting up at 8 in the morning, and getting dressed in work clothes.
Yes I'm serious!
Stevie: Sheesh.
***
Both finish dressing.
A-bomb: How do I look?
Stevie: Like a dude in a suit. How about me?
A-bomb: White.
Stevie: Where do we start.
A-bomb: Damien Demento owns a strip club in town. That'll work.
Stevie: Strip clubs are open at 8:30?
A-bomb: Strip club...owned by...DA-MI-EN DE-MEN-TO!!!
Stevie: Oh, yeah.
***
A-bomb and Stevie arrive at Damien Demento's Kitten House.
A-bomb: Co-owner, one Thadius Thumb.
Disco music envelopes the club. Few inhabitants are in the club, but one very important character is.
DSR: Hey, guys!
DSR calls from across the room, with his date, Lindsay Lohan.
A-bomb: Why did you bring her to a strip club, man?
DSR: The food's good, and, well, she offered to dance.
Stevie: Ah.
DSR: Why are you guys here. Lookin' for Stacy, Bomb?
A-bomb: In a sense, yes. Not for you think, though.
We're sniffing out Hogan.
DSR: Oh, yeah, I heard.
Anything I can do to help.
A-bomb: Thanks, maybe later.
***
A-bomb meets up with Stacy Kiebler.
Stacy: Not tonight, Adam.
A-bomb: I'm not here for that. I'm here to see Damien.
Stacy: Why?
A-bomb: I'm looking for a murderer.
***
A-bomb and Stevie sit in Damien's office.
Damien: My thumb would like to know why you're bothering me.
A-bomb: I'm not speaking with thumb today, Damien, I'm speaking with you.
I'll cut to the chase. Where is Hogan?
Damien: Hogan? Hogan? Why Hogan?
A-bomb: He killed a good friend of ours a few days ago, Damien. You're a psycho, and an idiot, but you're no murderer.
So tell us. Where is Hogan?
Damien: I can't tell you. He'll kill me!
A-bomb: We won't let him, Damien! Tell us, and we'll help you!
Damien: Allright. The truth is, Hogan and his boys are AACCHHKK!!!
Damien fell, dead.
A-bomb: What the hell...
Chyna: (with a smoking gun) Morning, gentlemen.
Stevie: You @#%$...
Chyna: You little bastards won't be finding out anything today. Quite the contrary. The only thing you'll find, is an
early death.
A scream is heard from the club area, and A-bomb and Stevie jump up.
***
A-bomb and Stevie reach the strip area, and see that zombies are marching around the place, killing all in their way.
Stevie: Man, what the hell is this?
DSR: Guys, back here!
DSR has a turned over table. Lindsay Lohan cowers behind him. A-bomb and Stevie join him.
DSR: Well, I'd say you hit the jackpot today.
A-bomb: Man, f*** you.
Stevie, give DSR your gun, and we'll cover you. Go and get the car.
Stevie: Right.
Stevie hands DSR his gun, and makes a run for it. The zombies, try to get to him, but are blown away by A-bomb and DSR.
But, they run out of bullets, just after Stevie makes it out.
DSR: This sucks!
Suddenly, a car crashes through the wall, and a shotgun wielding Stevie pops out, blowing away the zombies.
Stevie runs around to the back, pops open the hood, and takes more goodies out.
Stevie: Here you go.
He hands DSR and A-bomb more guns, and all engage in a Chow-Yun Fat style gun fight.
A-bomb spots Chyna running away.
A-bomb: I'm going after her!
A-bomb runs after her, and Stevie and DSR blow away more zombies.
***
A-bomb chases her over building roof tops. Suddenly, Chyna reaches the end of the line. No more buildings to jump to.
A-bomb: End of the line, chick. Or whatever the hell you are.
Chyna: It doesn't matter. I don't know where Hogan is either. I just killed your only link.
A-bomb: Oh, then I can enjoy this then.
A-bomb fills her full of lead, and she falls to her death.
A-bomb: (sigh) Dammit.
***
A-bomb goes back to the club.
Stevie: Why so down.
A-bomb: You know full well why.
Stevie: Well, don't be. Look what I found.
Stevie produces a file. A-bomb looks it over.
A-bomb: "Contacts: Where to find others."
Stevie, all of Blade's killers are here, and where to find them.
They were smart enough to leave out Hogan though.
Stevie: RD can find out more along the way, you know.
A-bomb: Yes! Aw, man, I love my job!
DSR: Get you s*** to Deal, man.
A-bomb: Thanks, DSR, we couldn't have done it without you.
DSR: Yeah, you could. Now get outta here. I need to adress my woman.
A-bomb and Stevie leave. After they do, DSR sweeps Lindsay off her feet.
DSR: Hail to the king, baby.
DSR then kisses his red-haired goddess.
***
RD's cell phone rings.
A-bomb: (Over phone) How would you like to know the locations of at least 4 of the murderers?
RD: ...Are you serious?
A-bomb: "Gene Snitsky, still in your town"
"El Gigante, last seen in Canada"
"Triple H, hanging out in China with Big Daddy Vinnie"
"Chyna, pavement on a street in Chicago"
RD: No Hogan?
A-bomb: No, they were smart enough to leave him off. I'm sure the rest have clues on to where he is. Prob'ly Vince.
RD: Yeah. I'll see you later, Bomb. I've got punishment to deal out.
***
Two weeks after the death of Snitsky.
El Gigante hangs out in a bar in Toronto. womelsdorf sits, playing a bar-fly. Two men sit at the bar, arguing.
Man: What a load of...
Dinobot: (turning around to join the conversation) Poop? Oh, yes. I know quite a bit about it. (licks brown stained lips)
(I'm sorry, Dino asked me to do it. There was nothing I could do)
El Gigante: Bartender. Another drink.
Bartender: I think you've had enough.
El Gigante: Did you just tell me, my limit? I decide my limit. Not some low-life bartender in some pissant bar.
Do you know who I am?
RD: I do.
Gigante turns around to see RD, coming straight at him with a hard punch.
RD lands his punch, then pulls back his fist in pain.
RD: Ah, dammit!
Gigante: Feh, it's only you. You should have stayed away.
RD goes for a side kick, but Gigante grabs his foot, and swings him around, knocking him into tables, people, and finally,
a wall.
RD slides down the wall, and into unconciousness.
***
RD wakes up in a black room. AJ Styles shows up once more.
Styles: You have to get up.
RD: I know.
Styles: You can't always expect to win like this. Use the sword. It's power is greater than you know.
RD: What is so great about this sword?
Styles: It is the only thing that can destroy Hogan. If you can not use it to defeat Gigante, then you certainly cannot
defeat Hogan.
You're about to wake up. Goodbye, Reynolds.
***
RD wakes up in a bed he doesn't recognize, in a house he doesn't recognize, being cared for by a woman he doesn't know.
RD: Who...are you?
Lisa: My name is Lisa. I saw you in an alley, and I took you home.
What happened to you?
RD: I just fought big foot.
Lisa: You mean that Gigante person? Monster. He broke my father in half for not getting out of his way.
RD: I'm sorry to hear that.
I have to leave you.
Lisa: That's not a good idea. You need to stay and heal.
RD: You don't understand. If Gigante finds out I'm here, he'll come after me, and kill you for harboring me.
Lisa: It doesn't matter. I'm a good enough nurse to know that you're not well enough to leave. Just one day.
RD: ...Allright, I'll stay.
***
And so, RD spent the day with Lisa. And he grew to like her, in all the scenes you've come to recognize from romance movies.
Chopping wood, doing dishes, making clay pottery...that stuff.
And, well, RD started to care for her. She was attractive, since she's being played by Scarlett Johansen (I like Scarlett
Johansen. So there, nyah), and she was kind, but she could get hurt.
RD decided he had to leave when she was asleep.
***
That night, when Lisa lay in her bed asleep, RD tiptoes out of the house.
After going only fifty yards into the woods, RD hears a scream.
***
Gigante, and about twenty men, were in Lisa's house. Gigante had Lisa by the throat.
Gigante: Where is he?
Lisa: I don't know who you're talking about.
Gigante: Don't play with me, woman. I'm talking about...
RD: Me? How sweet.
RD leaps out of no where, and kicks Gigante in the face. Gigante stumbles away, and the henchment surround him.
RD: Come get some. (Man, Bruce Campbell lines work for all occasions)
RD then proceeds to go Shaolin on the henchmen.
However, they begin to wear him down. Now breathing hard, the men's attacks now affect him.
It looks bad for RD, until,
*CRASH*
Waylon Mercy Fan and Trish burst in, both wielding guns.
Waylon: Trish, get her out of here.
Trish runs off with Lisa, and WMF and RD stand back to back.
WMF: I'll take on twenty men at the same time. You go take care of the guy who eats twenty men at the same time.
RD runs out of the house, Gigante in tow. WMF pulls out two sub guns.
WMF: C'mon, you knew this was comin'.
WMF opens fire on the henchmen.
***
RD stands out in a field, facing Gigante.
Gigante: Turns out you don't remember.
RD: Last time was a fluke.
RD goes for his sidekick, and once again, is grabbed by the foot.
Gigante swings RD, but this time, RD draws his sword, and slashes.
Gigante lets go of RD, and RD lands on his feet. Gigante lands with his arm open.
RD back rolls over Gigante, slashing him across the back. Gigante howls into the night air.
Gigante looks up, and sees RD coming down in a final slash.
***
Lisa and Trish stand with WMF, surrounded by twenty dead bodies. RD comes in.
RD: Where'd you come from?
WMF: Dinobot called me.
RD: Thanks for the help.
WMF: No problem.
WMF gives Trish a long kiss, and they exit.
***
In the morning, RD stands at the door, ready to leave.
Lisa: Wait! RD, wait.
Lisa walks up to him, and kisses him.
RD: I'll come back for you.
RD leaves, fully intent on keeping his promise.
***
Vince: (On his cell phone) All dead?
Hogan: (Over phone) Yeah, so I'd watch my ass if I were...
Vince: My son-in-law can take care of it, Hogan.
Hogan: Sure he can. Your son, with minimal skills, can take on a sword wielding master of martial arts. Why didn't I see
it before? Just take care of it.
Vince: (hanging up) He's coming. For you.
HHH: So? I've taken on people stonger than he is.
Vince: No you haven't.
HHH: Big Show?
Vince: He was just bigger. Reynolds is dangerous.
HHH: Let me take care of it. I'm ready to face him whenever I need to.
RD swings in through the window, Jet Li style, wearing a bomber jacket and jeans (sort of like Jet Li would wear too.
Or so I think. I just like bomber jackets.).
HHH screams.
RD: Problem?
Vince: For you.
(Shouts in Chinese)
Ten heavily armed men storm the room and surround RD.
Vince: You see, I control the police. You'll find the jail cell comfortable I hope. (In Chinese) Take him away!
The men take RD away. Vince looks down at HHH.
Vince: Get up!
***
RD is lead into his cell. The officer who leads him in uncuffs him.
Officer: (In RD's ear) Stay awake tonight.
RD: What?
The officer says no more, and leaves, locking our hero in his cell.
***
That night, 'bout midnight...
The two desk clerks talk.
Clerk: So, what are you doing for the weekend?
Clerk2: Work.
Clerk: Ah.
Suddenly, the door burst open, and the officer who had lead in RD earlier walks in.
Clerks: What are you...
The officer draws a large gun.
Officer: Stay quiet.
***
RD sits in his cell.
Officer: Need help?
The Officer unlocks the cell, and lets RD out.
RD: Thanks, but who are you?
The Officer pulls off his face.
RD: Holy...JC?
JudoChopToTheHead has made his appearance.
JC: Yup, now let's get the hell out of here.
The two run for it.
***
Later, the two pull up in front of a warehouse.
RD: Nice place.
JC: It looks better inside.
JC leads him inside. They reach a pinball machine.
RD: That's nice, but what about it?
JC pulls the pinball lauch, and the two are lowered into the basement level.
RD: Nifty.
***
At the very bottom, RD and JC are greeted by three people:
Hitman Mark, Handstand Brando, and his lover, Daffney.
JC: This is my pad. Brando over there is a crazy mad scientist guy. He's responsible for the mask I was wearing.
Daff is his girl friend, and Mark...well, Mark is really good at what he does.
RD: And what's that?
JC walks over to a table. On the table is a brick. JC suddenly picks it up and hurls it at Mark.
Mark quickly punches the brick, and it breaks quickly.
RD: Holy hell...
JC: That's what I said.
He joined for his own reasons.
Mark: I'll tell him.
You do remember Bret Hart, right? And what happened to him?
RD: How could I forget?
***
Flashback to November 97, Survivor Series. However, what we remember is very different today.
Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart lock up. Suddenly, blood explodes from the Hitman's chest, and he falls, dead.
Slow motion as the tears run down HBK's face, sweat runs down Vince McMahons laughing face, and the single tear running
down a fourteen year old Mark.
***
Mark: I want McMahon's head for what he did to my hero.
RD: Any chance we can attack tonight?
JC: That's what I expected.
Brando: I'll be here, giving you guys directions, into this earpiece here.
Brando hands RD an earpiece.
Brando: Will you need anything else?
RD: My sword...
Daffney: Right here. We picked it up from your arrest scene.
RD grabs his sword.
RD: This is all I'll need.
Let's move.
***
RD, JC, and Mark reach the outside of Vince's building.
RD: He's here?
JC: Him and his son-in-law like to count their money alot.
RD: Ah.
***
RD, JC and Mark walk past the guards they put down.
RD: Man, that was a hassle. Too bad you weren't around to see it.
***
The men reach a large room.
RD: I wonder what this room's for.
Vince: It's for catching unwanted guests.
Vince is on a balcony. All around him are his goons, and standing next to him is his goon-in-law.
Vince: Get them.
A bunch of goons leap down and attack the boys. All engage in hand to hand combat, RD incoporating both his sword and
his martial arts into a mix, JC using, what else, Judo, and Mark using a strange flowing style of martial arts.
Mark: Body like fluid, mind like stone, soul like a fighter.
(Sorry, but I somehow found that last quote cool. So there.)
Eventually, all goons are taken care of.
Vince: Your turn.
HHH leaps down, and Vince runs away.
Mark: He's mine!
Mark runs off, leaving the two to face HHH.
RD: Why are you smiling?
HHH: Because of this.
HHH suddenly draws a gun, and shoots.
RD VERY quickly slashes with his sword, deflecting the bullet, sending it back to HHH, and lodging it in HHH's throat.
HHH falls, now dead.
***
Mark reaches a dark room. Out of no where, Vince punches him across the face. In Vince's hand is a Chinese sword. Vince
tosses Mark one.
Vince: You deserve a chance.
Mark: You deserve to die.
Vince: If this is over Hart's demise, then I simply must say, I enjoyed watching him die.
Mark attacks Vince, and they go into an incredible display of sword fighting. If my describitory skills were any better,
I'd tell you how incredible it was.
Vince manages to knock the sword out of Mark's hand.
Vince: How do you like that?
Mark kick the sword out of Vince's hand.
Mark: How do you like that?
Mark kicks Vince in the chest, and Vince sails out of a window, falling to his death.
Mark: I did it, Bret. I avenged your death.
***
Mark reaches the other two.
RD: Well?
Mark: He's dead.
I found this on him.
It's his cell phone. Hogan's bound to call him. I think Brando can find a way to...
The Phone rings, and RD answers.
Hogan: Vince?
RD: Not today.
Hogan: Ah, I thought you might be here. I expected this from you.
However, I bet you didn't expect this:
A different voice comes over the phone.
Voice: Mmph!
RD: No...
Hogan: That's right. I have your dear Lisa. You can save her. All you have to do is come get her. I'm in Romania right
now. You'll find me from there, I'm sure.
But then, if you come, I'll kill you! And to me, that's just funny! (Laughs)
RD throws the phone to the floor, and it breaks.
RD: I'm coming for you Hogan. And I'm going to kill you. I swear it. No one will stop me now.
***
RD, JC, and Mark are all back at the hideout from last time. Brando is working on his computer, which has (The Late) Vince
McMahon's cell phone connected to it.
RD: Brando, is there...
Brando: Give me time, all I need is... There!
Well, you're right, he's in Romania, like you said.
RD: Allright, then I'll see you later.
JC: Wait, we're coming with.
RD: No. I have to go alone.
Mark: RD, I respect the kind of man that you are. But know this. Whenever you need help, we'll be there.
RD: Thanks. That's good to hear.
See ya'.
After RD leaves, JC speaks up.
JC: We're not really staying, are we?
Mark: Fire up the jets. We leave tonight.
***
A-bomb wakes to his ringing phone.
A-bomb: Yo. What? It's happening now?
Jeez, we'll be there.
Stevie!
***
DSR cell phone rings.
DSR: I'm with Lin right now, better be good.
...'S good enough.
Lindsay, we're going.
***
WMF: Hello? Tonight? Yeah, we'll be there.
***
A plane lands in the country of Romania. When RD steps off, he is greeted by a man and two women.
DD: Hey.
DoubleDDudley has now made his appearance. Victoria and Stacy Kiebler stand next to him.
RD: So you heard.
DD: Everyone did.
A whole lot of cars pull up. All the people I listed in the calling sequence get out of their cars, all armed.
RD: Guess there was no stopping you. Sure you don't want to back down, right now? You might die.
DSR: No we won't.
RD: All right.
Let's roll.
***
All pull up to a large mansion, in front of a closed get with the letters HH on the bars.
RD: Yup, this is the place.
Out of no where, a shot rings out. WMF quickly draws his gun and fires. A shooter falls off the mansion top.
Over a PA system that just happens to be there, Hogan's voice calls out.
Hogan: I'm so glad you showed up, Reynolds. I'm in the highest tower. Think you can make it?
RD draws his sword and slashes the bars of the gate, and they instantly fall to his blade. RD leaps through, followed
by his friends.
A LOT, of guards come out, all ready to shoot.
DD: Move it, we'll take care of it, GO!!
RD makes a break for the door, and all engage in gun battle with the guards.
***
RD is met inside with 4 body guards. RD quickly takes them out with his sword.
RD: Which way?
RD notices a sign labled, "This way to the action packed finale". RD takes heed to the sign, and goes that way.
RD draws his gun deciding to conserve energy for his fight with Hogan.
***
RD enters long but narrow hallway. Suddenly, guards pop out of nowhere and fire. RD duck in a small nook, and fires back
whenever he can. Soon, all the guards are dead, and RD continues his vendetta.
***
RD reaches the steps to the tower. On every turn is a guard.
RD sneaks behind the first guard, and takes him out. Every other guard fire at RD, but he uses the knocked out guard as
a shield. Once the bullets stop, RD draws his gun once more, and shoots down all the guards.
It's almost here.
RD tosses away his gun, never to use it again. Today anyway.
***
Hogan: I've been waiting, Reynolds.
RD stands at the very top of the stairs. A few feet away from him is Hogan.
RD: Where is she?
Hogan: You need only look up.
RD looks up, and sees Lisa, suspended from the ceiling by the rope tying her wrists together.
Hogan: You'll notice that her rope is being burned through with a candle.
By my guess, she'll fall in ten minutes. Give or take.
So, I say we get started.
Hogan walks over to an open area of the tower. RD follows him, and stops, standing 5 feet away from him.
RD: Let's go.
In a flash, both Hogan and RD draw their swords, and lock blades. RD spins out of the lock, and slashes, which Hogan catches
with his sword. Both thrust and slash wildly at eachother, neither getting a solid strike.
Hogan nicks RD hand.
Hogan: Hmm, better keep up, boy.
RD rolls forward and slashes the sword out of Hogan's hand.
RD: Better keep up, man.
RD allows Hogan to get his sword, and they continue.
Suddenly, Hogan runs to the rope, and RD runs after him.
Catching RD by surprise, Hogan turns quickly and slashes RD right across the chest. RD grasps his chest, and nearly drops
his sword.
The fight continues again, however, Hogan has the upper hand, due to the injured RD.
Hogan: You should have stayed dead, Reynolds. At least your friend was smart enough to do that.
RD: You don't deserve to even SPEAK OF HIM!!!
RD stands upright, forgetting all pain, and slashes Hogan.
Hogan's sword clatters to the ground, and Hogan grabs his his right hand.
But there was nothing there.
Hogan: My hand!! You cut off my hand!!
RD: Damn right I did.
Hogan suddenly begins to bulge up. He turns even more orange, and a new hand grows back in place.
In the most ridiculous thing to happen in my story yet, Hogan becomes a large ogrous orange thing.
RD: Oh, sh...
Hogan swipes RD away.
Hogan: What do you think, RD? I'm not an orange goblin anymore, I'm an orange DEMON!!
Hogan grabs his sword, and he continues to fight RD, but RD is wearing down.
Hogan knocks RD away, and RD lays sprawled on the floor.
RD: What do I do?
Blade: Get up and kill him, you jerk.
RD: What?
The spirit of Blade stands in front of him, in the second most ridiculous part of the story.
Blade: Hey, get back up, kill the prick, save your chick, it's that easy.
RD: Thanks, Blade.
Blade: No thime, he's coming.
Blade disappears, as Hogan walks toward RD.
Hogan: Ready to ARRRGGHH!!!
RD slashes his hand off again.
RD: That was for Blade!
RD slashes off the other hand.
RD: That was for Lisa!
RD slashes an opening in Hogan's chest.
RD: That was for everyone you've stepped on in your scramble for the top!
RD pulls back his sword.
RD: And this...this is for me.
RD plunges his sword in Hogan's heart.
Hogan screeches to the sky, and falls, landing on his back.
Hogan: Well played, Reynolds. You should of been on my side.
RD: Sorry. I'm not that kind of guy.
Hogan: Evil?
RD: No, untalented.
Hogan dies, and RD pulls his sword out of Hogan's corpse.
Lisa: RD!!
Lisa's rope snaps, and Lisa falls.
RD: NO!!
RD collapses to his knees.
RD: No, not her. It's not fair that she has to die. She never hurt anyone.
RD looks at the floor, so he doesn't notice a certain thing.
RD: Why? It's not fair? It's not...
Lisa: RD, what's wrong?
RD looks up. Lisa was in the arms of a young man, who was standing atop a pig. If that wasn't interesting enough, the
pig was floating.
Dave: Lose something?
RD: No, thanks to you.
Dave lets Lisa down, and she runs to RD.
Dave: Well, I have to be going now. See ya!
I, on my magic pig, float away.
RD: That was weird.
Lisa kisses him.
Lisa: Let's go home.
RD and Lisa leave, without anyone to hinder their lives.
If you're wondering about the others, they're okay. No one was killed, and the worst thing to happen was that DSR was
nearly hit with a bullet. But it didn't.
And that's the end of my tale. I certainly hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't, well, you know where to take it.
THE END!!!
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