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***
Open on the back of someone's head. The someone brushes their hair, as a woman's voice says a nice little poem.
Voice: Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Clay Aiken's music
will be the END OF YOU!!!
The person turns around to reveal the face of
STEVIE!!
SUSTEVIA
***
A-bomb and DSR sit and watch tv. Stevie dances in and begins to shout.
Stevie: Good news!
DSR: That guy with the claws stopped coming into your dreams?
Stevie: No.
A-bomb: The guy in the hockey mask moved out?
Stevie: No.
DSR: The guy with the magic gauntlet finally proposed to the medieval princess?
'Cause I was always pulling for those two.
Stevie: Uh, no.
I've been accepted in the most prestigous dance academy in Germany.
A-bomb: That...nice? I think that would be the answer.
Stevie: I leave tomorrow.
A-bomb: We'll come to see you off.
The phone rings, and DSR answers it.
Voice: Hello, DSR.
DSR: Hi Dr. Lecter.
Lecter: I'd like to have you boys for dinner.
DSR: What's the occation?
Lecter: Why, to celebrate Stevie's acceptance into the dance academy of course. We could have fava beans, and a nice Chianti.
(Slurp)
DSR: How'd you know about Stevie.
Lecter: The bug I placed in your apartment.
I mean...lucky guess.
DSR: Well, sorry. We already ate.
Lecter: As long as we're talking, I must tell you to do something about your toilet.
Multiple Miggs keeps complaining. He says he can smell it from his apartment.
I myself cannot.
DSR: Right. Bye Dr.
DSR hangs up. Over in Lecter's apartment, he hangs up as well.
He looks over at the man splayed into a butterfly pinned to his wall.
Man: So, they're not coming over?
Lecter: What do you think?
***
The next day, at the air port...
A-bomb: Man, there's a lot of freaks here.
The Candyman comes over to them.
Candyman: Candy?
DSR: Uh, no thanks.
The Candyman opens his mouth, and a bunch of bees come out.
A-bomb: Okay, cripes, we'll buy your candy!
Stevie: Well, my flights here.
What do you guys plan on doing while I'm gone?
A-bomb: We'll rent some movies, I guess.
DSR: Not after last time, we won't.
***
Flashback to the apartment. The boys pop in a video, and suddenly, a decrepit looking girl appears.
A-bomb empties an entire clip into her.
DSR: You over-react a lot.
DDudley: The Japanese version was better.
AGH, my quad!
***
A-bomb and DSR watch Stevie's flight fly away.
DSR: We're not really letting him go to a different continent without us, are we?
A-bomb: Let's get to Dave's.
***
Later, a '71 Pinto rolls up in front of my house.
Once the two step out, a leaf calmly flutters down, and lands on the back bumper of the car.
The car bursts into flame instantly.
A-bomb: Dammit!
DSR: Like you care.
A-bomb knocks on my door, and a sleepy me answers.
Dave: Yeah?
A-bomb: Would you happen to have a jet-plane we can borrow?
Dave: ...Yeah, it's around back. Fill up the tank when your done please.
***
A-bomb and DSR reach my jet.
DSR: Nice.
A bunch of freaks crawl out from under the jet.
Freak: Be you the acrobat and the strong man?
A-bomb: Uh, no.
DSR: They went that way.
The freaks crawl off, chanting.
Freaks: Gooble gobble, gooble gobble,
we will shop at Toys R' Us!
DSR: How long will this take?
A-bomb: One scene shift.
***
The boys are now in Germany.
A-bomb: See?
Germany, the land of beer and big boobed women.
DSR: Oh no, Russia is the place for big boobed women. Germany just has beer.
A-bomb: Crap. Well, we're going to Russia after this.
DSR: I know.
***
At the dance academy...
Stevie: How did you guys get here?
A-bomb: Jet.
DSR: Whoo-oo-oo whoo-hoo-oo.
A-bomb: How do you like it here?
Stevie: I'm scared to death. There's this freaky leather clad vampire who looks like Bill Paxton. And Bill Pullman keeps
telling everybody...
Pullman: I'm not dead! Don't bury me, tell them I'm not dead!
Stevie: Yeah, and worst of all is...
Tall Man: Mr. Richards?
Stevie: Yes Mr. Tallman?
Tallman: It is almost dinner time. Just thought I'd tell you.
He walks away.
DSR: Man, he's freaky.
Stevie: He's even worse in the morning.
***
Cut to Stevie sleeping. Suddenly, he wakes up, and sees Tallman standing over his bed. Two zombies pop out of the ground
and grab him.
***
A-bomb: What can happen next?
A girl falls through the stain glass ceiling, and stops, hanging from the noose around her neck.
The boys stare.
DSR: So...awesome...
A-bomb: I had to ask.
***
A-bomb: Well, it seems I've got a murder to solve.
DSR: How? You just looked at the body and left.
A-bomb: You'll find out at dinner.
***
Later, at the dinner table...
DSR: So, what's to eat?
Tallman: Pea soup.
Linda Blair comes up with dinner.
A-bomb: Okay, seeing as how my apetite is pretty much dead now, I'll just reveal the killer...
Michael Myers: Allright, it was me! I killed the girl!
A-bomb: I was going to say Damien did it, but I guess this makes everything easier.
And since I haven't shot anything in a while...
A-bomb shoots Myers.
Myers: Hey!
A-bomb: You'll just come back in the sequel you baby!
***
Later on, in a Russian hotel...
Stevie: How did you pay for this?
A-bomb: Pay off from solving the murder case.
Just enough left over for a date.
Anna Kournikova walks in.
A-bomb: Yeah.
A-bomb walks off with his date.
DSR: I miss Lindsay.
Lindsay suddenly walks in at that moment. DSR hops on the makeout train with Lindsay.
Stevie: And that's the most horrifying thing we've seen all episode.
G'bye everybody.
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